Eat More.
I found this VERY interesting report. It states that the following foods and situations have no calories at all. So you can consume all of it with a clear conscience. My happiness mounted ten-fold after I read it! Yupieeeeeee!!!!
CALORIES THAT DON'T COUNT
1. FOOD ON FOOT - All food eaten while standing has no calories. Exactly why is not clear, but the current theory relates to gravity. The calories apparently bypass the stomach flowing directly down the legs, and through the soles of the feet into the floor, like electricity. Walking appears to accelerate this process, so that an ice cream bar or hot dog eaten at the state fair actually has calorie deficit.
2. TV FOOD - Anything eaten in front of the TV has no calories. This may have something to do with radiation leakage, which negates the calories in food, plus all recollection of having eaten it!
3. UNEVEN EDGES - Pies and cakes should be cut neatly, in even wedges or slices. If not, the responsibility falls on the person putting them away to "straighten up the edges" by slicing away offending irregularities, which have no calories when eaten.
4. BALANCED FOOD - If you drink a 12 ounce diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
5. LEFT-HANDED FOOD - If you have a drink in your right hand, anything eaten with the left hand has no calories. Several principles are at work here. First of all, you're probably standing up at a party (see "Food on Foot", above) Then, there's the electronic field: a wet glass in one hand forms a negative charge to reverse the polarities of the calories attracted to the other hand. It's not quite known how it works, but the reverse is true if you're left-handed.
6. FOOD FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES - Food used for medicinal purposes never counts. For example: Hot chocolate, cheesecake (it’s a mood-enhancer!), apple-pies (remember, an apple a day, keeps the doc away??) et al.
7. WHIPPED CREAM, SOUR CREAM, and BUTTER - These all act as a poultice that actually "draws out" the calories when placed on any food, leaving them calorie free. Afterwards, you can eat the poultice, too, since all the calories have been neutralized by it.
8. CHILDREN'S FOOD - Anything produced, purchased, or intended for minors is calorie free when eaten by adults. This category covers a wide range, beginning with a spoonful of baby food custard, consumed for demonstration purposes, up to Oreo cookies or cake batter or cookie dough.
9. FOOD ON TOOTHPICKS - Sausage, cocktail franks, and crackers are all fattening unless impaled on frilly toothpicks. The insertion of a sharp object allows the calories to leak out at the bottom.
10. CHARITABLE FOODS - Girl Scout cookies, bake sale cakes, ice cream socials and church strawberry festivals all have a religious dispensation from calories.
11. CUSTOM MADE TREATS - Anything somebody makes "just for you" must be eaten, regardless of the calories, because to do otherwise would be uncaring and insensitive. Your kind intentions will not go unrecognized, except by the calories!
So eat MORE! Njoi ;-)
CALORIES THAT DON'T COUNT
1. FOOD ON FOOT - All food eaten while standing has no calories. Exactly why is not clear, but the current theory relates to gravity. The calories apparently bypass the stomach flowing directly down the legs, and through the soles of the feet into the floor, like electricity. Walking appears to accelerate this process, so that an ice cream bar or hot dog eaten at the state fair actually has calorie deficit.
2. TV FOOD - Anything eaten in front of the TV has no calories. This may have something to do with radiation leakage, which negates the calories in food, plus all recollection of having eaten it!
3. UNEVEN EDGES - Pies and cakes should be cut neatly, in even wedges or slices. If not, the responsibility falls on the person putting them away to "straighten up the edges" by slicing away offending irregularities, which have no calories when eaten.
4. BALANCED FOOD - If you drink a 12 ounce diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
5. LEFT-HANDED FOOD - If you have a drink in your right hand, anything eaten with the left hand has no calories. Several principles are at work here. First of all, you're probably standing up at a party (see "Food on Foot", above) Then, there's the electronic field: a wet glass in one hand forms a negative charge to reverse the polarities of the calories attracted to the other hand. It's not quite known how it works, but the reverse is true if you're left-handed.
6. FOOD FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES - Food used for medicinal purposes never counts. For example: Hot chocolate, cheesecake (it’s a mood-enhancer!), apple-pies (remember, an apple a day, keeps the doc away??) et al.
7. WHIPPED CREAM, SOUR CREAM, and BUTTER - These all act as a poultice that actually "draws out" the calories when placed on any food, leaving them calorie free. Afterwards, you can eat the poultice, too, since all the calories have been neutralized by it.
8. CHILDREN'S FOOD - Anything produced, purchased, or intended for minors is calorie free when eaten by adults. This category covers a wide range, beginning with a spoonful of baby food custard, consumed for demonstration purposes, up to Oreo cookies or cake batter or cookie dough.
9. FOOD ON TOOTHPICKS - Sausage, cocktail franks, and crackers are all fattening unless impaled on frilly toothpicks. The insertion of a sharp object allows the calories to leak out at the bottom.
10. CHARITABLE FOODS - Girl Scout cookies, bake sale cakes, ice cream socials and church strawberry festivals all have a religious dispensation from calories.
11. CUSTOM MADE TREATS - Anything somebody makes "just for you" must be eaten, regardless of the calories, because to do otherwise would be uncaring and insensitive. Your kind intentions will not go unrecognized, except by the calories!
So eat MORE! Njoi ;-)
posted by Unknown at 2:10 AM
7 Comments:
> I found this VERY interesting report.
Actually I found this POST very interesting.
>It states that the following foods and situations have no calories at all.
R they approved by FDA? Over here FDA would be "Female and Drug Association" as Food is replaced by Female becoz it's very important they approve it :p
>So you can consume all of it with a clear conscience.
I am Crystal Clear :-)
>My happiness mounted ten-fold after I read it! Yupieeeeeee!!!!
You can divide it by ten and then mutliply by infinity :-)That would give the amount of happiness if you ate more :-)
>CALORIES THAT DON'T COUNT
CALORIES NEVER COUNT. ONLY CONSCIENCE COUNTS :P
>1. FOOD ON FOOT - All food eaten while standing has no calories.
I guess FOOD ON FOOT means you gotta take the FOOT to your MOUTH in order to consume the FOOD which is on FOOT :p
So I guess it won't have any calories becoz by the time you achieve to do that action you may have burnt hell more calories then you gotta intake :-)
>Exactly why is not clear, but the current theory relates to gravity. The calories apparently bypass the stomach flowing directly down the legs, and through the soles of the feet into the floor, like electricity.
Only if it doesn't get stuck on the hips ...Food loves that organ a lot...Janamo Janam ka nata hai...
>2. TV FOOD - Anything eaten in front of the TV has no calories.
Exactly...I totally agree...I love being couch potato....Do you mind sharing the space :p
>This may have something to do with radiation leakage, which negates the calories in food, plus all recollection of having eaten it!
Thanks Dear Physicist. The new LCD TV's do not radiate :-(
Need to find some alternative source soon :-)
>3. UNEVEN EDGES -
Don't wanna stretch my imaginations... :p
>Pies and cakes should be cut neatly, in even wedges or slices. If not, the responsibility falls on the person putting them away to "straighten up the edges" by slicing away offending irregularities, which have no calories when eaten.
I agree!!!
>4. BALANCED FOOD - If you drink a 12 ounce diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
Like stuff repel each other and so does the drink and Candy....Don't worry we will balance it somewhere else if they don't get balanced here :-)
>5. LEFT-HANDED FOOD -
For me LEFT HANDED FOOD would be Cigarette ...Nothing better then Left hand holding Cigarette and Right hand holding Daru :-)
It automatically reduces your body :-)
>6. FOOD FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES - Food used for medicinal purposes never counts. For example: Hot chocolate, cheesecake (it’s a mood-enhancer!), apple-pies (remember, an apple a day, keeps the doc away??) et al.
I love Mood Enhancers. They are gr8!! Can do without apple but not without those mood enhancers :-)
>7. WHIPPED CREAM, SOUR CREAM, and BUTTER - These all act as a poultice that actually "draws out" the calories when placed on any food, leaving them calorie free.
YUUMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY...Thy shall always use these as toppings..Just dunno when it would be useful so I think I would rather store it in bulk :p
>8. CHILDREN'S FOOD - Anything produced, purchased, or intended for minors is calorie free when eaten by adults.
Need to stay away from it...Don't wanna eat someone's else food..rite?
>9. FOOD ON TOOTHPICKS - Sausage, adults.cocktail franks, and crackers are all fattening unless impaled on frilly toothpicks.
Sausages are yummy,,,, Never tested it..just heard of it...If the post is saying I should taste it :-) What do you say?
>The insertion of a sharp object allows the calories to leak out at the bottom.
I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>10. CHARITABLE FOODS - Girl Scout cookies, bake sale cakes, ice cream socials and church strawberry festivals all have a religious dispensation from calories.
Basically anything dispensing would release calories...So I totally agree...I need not go and work out after having them :-)
>11. CUSTOM MADE TREATS - Anything somebody makes "just for you" must be eaten, regardless of the calories, because to do otherwise would be uncaring and insensitive.
All I wanna do is EAT MORE !!! that too CUSTOM MADE...It's more CARING AND SENSITIVE...What you say Memsaab?
>So eat MORE!
When does this motto take into Action :-)
>Njoi ;-)
Njoid!!You too Njoi eating more:-)
-AJ
That means, if I eat apple pie, made for minors, in front of TV with ma left hand...that too in standing position...the food will have no calories in it...right??
I'm craving for apple pie now...the only prob is I hafta stand up...TV is on anyway.
Wooo..Hoooo!!
Thanks for making me happy at midnight. I'll have a peaceful sleep now...
zzzzzzz...
Z000nie
Yup! No calories! But do you really need to worry abt calories??
I also want apple pie!!
AJ
Ur comment is so loooooong. It will take a while for me to answer it. :-)
I'm eating apple/banana pie today eve on the expressway...
Wanna join me??
Z000nie
U think I can decling an invitation like this?
On the express highway...where r u gng?
AJ
Actually I found this POST very interesting.
Haan..haan..one and the same thing.
Over here FDA would be "Female and Drug Association"
You think ideas like these wud be disapproved by any wimmen?
I am Crystal Clear :-)
I am Clinic All Clear!! Ok..sad joke...but cudn't think of anything else. Me and my sense of humour...:-)
That would give the amount of happiness if you ate more :-)
I am sure ma momma wud be more than happy to see me eating MORE.
CALORIES NEVER COUNT. ONLY CONSCIENCE COUNTS :P
Nah. Calories DO count. Not only count....they also SHOW!! wah...wah...
Exactly...I totally agree...I love being couch potato....Do you mind sharing the space :p
I can't be a couch potato for long. Blame it on my genes.....but I need to be active!!!
For me LEFT HANDED FOOD would be Cigarette ...Nothing better then Left hand holding Cigarette and Right hand holding Daru :-)
I hate people who smoke.
When does this motto take into Action :-)
I have eating without guilt. Will have to run on the treadmill soon, if it continues this way!
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